Searching for a Community of Self-Respect

When children misbehave, parents help them to learn boundaries through positve guidance, time outs, taking things away,  and allowing some natural consequences to occur. In some parenting styles, spanking is used as a form of discipline.


So, why do the rules change for mates who impose physical, verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse on their significant others? These repeat offenders usually over-step their boundaries without remorse or reprimand.

My Letter to Abusers

       Abusers, you use your power to abuse your mates. You yell at them. You slap and hit them. You belittle them in front of others. You rape them. You shoot, stab, and kill them.  Yet, you still expect to be rewarded for your misbehaviors. 

1. You attack your mates but still expect sex from them.
2. You verbally abuse your mates but still expect them to cook your dinner. Clean your house.
3. You undermine your mates by controlling their every moves. Robbing them of their voices. Causing them to live a life in constant fear .....afraid of how savagingly brute you are.
4. You stifle their abilities to make decisions but you expect them to respect your authority, to listen to and hear your voice, and to value and validate your decisions.
5. Your mates know that you are unfair to them. They see the existence of inequality as you make demands on them that you would not honor yourself. You are cutting off their air supply. They are struggling to breathe for equality.

Stop.

Stop stomping out your mates dreams and aspirations. You are robbing them of their self esteem, motivation, and self-worth. In a sense, you are revoking their civil rights and civil liberties all in the name of LOVE. Pseudo-Love, I mean. Could you, abusers, endure the same levels of stress that you force on your mates daily? Could you give out the same rewards to your mates that you receive from them-if the shoe was on the other foot?

Thinking....

You are in control. But why?  Because you are the breadwinner? Because you are a woman? Because you are a man?

Still Thinking....

Were you abused as a child? Did someone special in your life violate your civil rights? Your civil liberties? 

What's Missing?

Abusers, you need a time out. You should not be rewarded for your misbehavior. It's time to take things away. NO sex for you. Your mates should not have to share their inner bodies with you when you repeatedly disfigure their outer bodies. Positive guidance. You should learn about ways to gain self-control, manage anger, and to heal emotionally. Therapy will assist you in gaining the balance you need. Natural consequences. If you insist on disrespecting others to make it seem like you are in control, please do yourself a favor and leave. Your mates will appreciate it. They need to find their self-worth again. As your mates are looking for theirs, it wouldn't hurt if you look for your own maturity and self-respect. 

Final thought. Abusers, having real control means to control yourselves.

Sincerely,

Because I have the power to use my voice.